My sister on weddings

Sister, while watching Don’t Tell The Bride: How come we don’t get married in temples?

Me: Yah hor. I dunno! But English people and Americans used to get married at home too. Like, marrying in church was the more formal kind of option. I think they got married by the minister at home, though, so it’s not like us, where we just kind of do it by ourselves.

Sister: Maybe the minister got too many people to marry so he got lazy and told them, ‘I’m not coming to your home anymore. You come to me.’

Me: I don’t know how getting married in a church became the standard option actually. Maybe ‘cos people watched royalty, like Queen Victoria or whoever, get married in these big churches — ‘cos if you’re royalty you gotta get married in somewhere like Westminster Abbey, right — so they were like, oh, we wanna do that too.

Sister: What about the queen of Bhutan?

Me: Hah?

Sister: (thoughtfully) Oh yeah, I guess the queen of Bhutan didn’t get married in a temple. But what you’re saying is if she did get married in a temple everybody would start following her and get married in temples.

Me: Er, maybe …


Sister: I want to have a magician at my wedding! ‘Cos when you watch Don’t Tell The Bride you think about how you’re going to have your wedding, right, and I was thinking about doves, and of course doves makes you think of magicians, and I want a magician! He’d do all the stuff with disappearing doves. And he’d stand on a stage, in the middle — and everybody would watch him.

Me: But where would you do it?

Sister: In a theatre! With everybody sitting in the seats.

Me: So where would people eat?

Sister: There’d be a buffet outside! And people could take their plates and come into the theatre and eat on their laps …

Me: Your wedding idea is kind of falling to pieces there.


Me: Do you know what my dress looks like? I sent you a picture, right?

Sister: It was … long. And white.

Me: Hmmmm.


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