This has been a busy weekend for getting wedding-related stuff done!
The end of the save the date saga
I received the save the dates from Moo last week and P and I sat down and addressed a bunch of them on Saturday. I’m pleased to say that they came out fantastically – we were both impressed by the quality of the cardstock and how professional they looked.
I had a couple of wobbles over the guest list while doing the cards. It requires some mental juggling as we want to keep the English wedding small – family and close friends only – whereas I have been actively encouraged to come up with as many guests as possible for the Malaysian wedding. Confusing! Situation further complicated by the fact that certain relatives on my side who I’d assumed wouldn’t bother coming all the way to England to attend the church wedding have apparently decided that a UK holiday sounds quite good fun. Perhaps they might come!
I am like, you gotta let me know these things, relatives! The church has plenty of space, that’s not the problem. It just might be an issue if they want dinner afterwards …
Where there is any doubt I have decided not to send a save the date. This covers people I probably would invite to the Malaysian wedding – I figure when it’s closer to the time I can always just send them an invitation and if they can make it, good, and if they can’t, oh well.
Deedle deedle deedle
I’ve given my mom the go-ahead to book a three-person Chinese band. You get the erhu, the guzheng and that Chinese flute whose name I do not know. My mother warned me that if we didn’t specify we might get WOMEN MUSICIANS. “For wedding some people prefer all men because if women, they might outshine the bride.”
I said I felt OK about taking this risk! I also feel OK about the fact that a “pure” Chinese band will only play Chinese songs. (The service also provides an option of a “fusion” band which plays both Chinese and Western instruments, and does instrumental versions of popular Western songs.) I think I can live without hearing a rendition of “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” on the pipa.
I did have a wobble here, though a retrospective one. I’m having a wobble about cost – a live band, as nice as it is to have, is not necessary, and I’ve built up quite a cool playlist of retro Asian pop. Should I have told my mom not to bother? It was her idea, though, and she seems quite excited about it, and feels the cost is reasonable. I feel a bit guilty because IIRC my brother only had one musician at his wedding, playing the guzheng. But maybe it’s silly to compare.
My friend, fashion is danger
I bought a dress for the Malaysian wedding! Currently I’m thinking: 1 dress for the English wedding, 1 dress for the Malaysian ceremony and 1 outfit (possibly a kebaya) for the Malaysian reception. I don’t know if my mom or anyone else will think it necessary for me to have another outfit change during the dinner, as some brides do, but I hope not! I looove dresses but even I think 3 of them is quite enough for 2 weddings.
(I did initially consider having just 2 dresses – one for the English wedding and the Malaysian ceremony, and an outfit change for the Malaysian dinner, but I decided it would be too much faff to sort out cleaning etc. for the dress in time for the Malaysian wedding. And if I did that I’d probably have less fun at the English one because I’d be busy trying to make sure I didn’t spill anything on it or step on it.)
I’m gonna put the rest of this under a cut in the unlikely event that P reads this, as I wish to rabbit on about dress details!
I’m a teeny bit worried that I’m going to get in trouble over this new dress because it is not weddingy at all. It is white, but it’s not floor-length (it hits the calf area above the ankle) and the material is not satiny or silky or lacy. And it is gloriously shapeless! I feel like a modernist building in it. It is so wonderfully severe. I plan to wear a puff of veil with it – a frothy poofy shape will be such a delicious touch of humour on top of its long sleek lines – and exquisitely simple shoes.
It is dreadfully extravagant because the veil and possibly the shoes will have to be different for the English wedding – I think a ’60s style poofy veil would be too much with the vintage dress, which is demure and quirky. A dress like that needs a stern simplicity in its accompaniments because it’s already a bit costumey. I’d initially been planning not to wear a veil at all – maybe a sparkly headband, or a hair flower – but my mother suggested a long veil since the dress doesn’t have a train, and the wedding is in a cathedral. Do I want a bunch of fabric following me down the aisle? Also, issue of getting a veil that matches the shade of the fabric, which is an aged cream.
Currently I think I am leaning towards finding out what a cathedral length veil would look like with the dress, but we’ll see. Even a really simple long veil might bump the dress into too fussy for me – by itself it’s just on the right side of fussy but the slightest move might change everything!
Well, it’s early days yet. The wobble with the dress was a silly one – I was wandering along Oxford Street yesterday and went into the John Lewis to use the toilet. On the way out I saw a couple of really pretty champagne evening dresses and decided to try them on. And they were really nice! You could tell they were made of synthetic materials, but the cut and fit worked really well on me and one in particular – a sleeveless champagne gown with embellishment on the shoulders and draping at the bust – was delightful, sort of Jenny Packham on the (very) cheap.
I had a dreadful moment of hesitation because while they weren’t “mainstream” wedding dresses, they were a lot more weddingy and conventionally glamorous than the dress I’d bought for the Malaysian wedding. But I trotted home and tried my dress on again and I have no regrets. The John Lewis dresses (and they were actually John Lewis brand, haha) might have been more glamorous and even more flattering to my figure, but the dress I bought is more interesting. Not to mention £40 cheaper. That’ll do, Pig.