Wedding stationery is so much harder than you think

When I last posted about my save the dates saga, I was simmering with frustration over the problem peculiar to weddings of TOO MUCH HELPFULNESS. If only everyone could stop being helpful! I would tell them when they were required and precisely to what extent they were called upon to be helpful! At all other times, everyone needed to sit down and NOT DO ANYTHING.

So I had a set of save the dates with a design I really loved and implementation about which I was meh shading to very disappointed. There were a few different ways I could have gone from there, but I talked to P, whose two primary roles as my fiance and boyfriend are:

1) To like me best

2) To talk me off the ledge on a regular basis

Most of my friends think I’m pretty laidback. This is because they are neither my parents nor dating me.

My chat with P really helped. I decided that damn it, maybe save the dates are a stupid thing to get stressed about, but it was too late for me not to care about them. I already cared! I just had to accept I cared and get on with it.

So I decided to have the save the date design redone. To clarify — the Architect had produced a delightful ink drawing based on the vision I’d described to her. She’d modified it as a sop to my parents’ sensibilities.

(I’ve talked about my parents’ objection to its being in black & white, but their other, funnier objection was that the design displayed prominently the fact that I was born in the year of the Tiger and P is an Ox.

“Tiger will eat the ox!” said my mom.

Essentially she was worried people would think I was bossy and wore the trousers in the relationship, because the Ox is obviously a milder animal than the Tiger. Well, I am bossy and I do occasionally wear trousers, but neither of those things have anything to do with the year I was born in. I’d be bossy and occasionally-trouser-wearing if I was a Rabbit.)

The modification needed to deal with this concern was minor and quite cute, so that was fine. But then the drawing passed out of the Architect’s control. My mom, with the best of intentions, arranged for it to be coloured by somebody else, and printed off several sets of cards.

I think the somebody else did a good job, but it wasn’t quite what I’d been hoping for. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, the cards my mom used for printing are pretty flimsy and probably wouldn’t survive being tossed about in a mail bag full of other post. So I had a perfectly practical excuse for having the design redone, and I went for it.

The long-suffering, ever-obliging Architect agreed to recolour the card. I gnawed on my fingernails and tried not to worry about timing. (P essentially thought there would be no point to sending out save the dates once Christmas came around, since the cards would be lost in the deluge of Christmas post.)

After some confusion the Architect sent her coloured version of the design through. And it is PERFECT. I’d say it is even better than I’d hoped for, but to be honest I know how good the Architect is and I hoped for a lot. And I got it!

We are almost there. THERE is so close I can almost smell it. @_@ I ordered a set of postcards from Moo after discussing the text with P — a surprisingly thorny issue, as we have two weddings and two overlapping but not identical sets of guests, and we need to keep numbers at the English wedding in particular under control.

So all that remains is for the cards to arrive and for us to address them and send them off. I’m crossing my fingers that the cards are OK. On the one hand, I feel an overly optimistic “woohoo, it’s all sorted now!” attitude might jinx it and the cards might not be quite as awesome as I envisage. OTOH, I don’t think I’m so super demanding — I mean, I totally was demanding here, but that was mostly because I was edged out of control with certain parts of the process. As long as it’s an imperfection that happened under my watch, I feel I can handle it.

I feel a bit guilty as — not counting the set I dumped which probably cost my parents nothing in real terms — the cards themselves, without counting postage etc., cost only £7 short of the budget P estimated for the wedding invitations including save the dates. But it’s not a huge amount of money and it will, I hope, be worth it. We shall see.

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